everyone's been talking about love huh.
msn's personal message lah.
blog lah.
anywhere lah.

fizo pon nk talk about love lah.
haha

love
by definition it means,

1) a feeling: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
2) a term for someone: e.g "Would you like to see a movie, love?"
3) and many more definitions. heh

but whatever it means,
its a strong, strong word to use.
its a feeling that so strong that even hotheads can go into breakdowns

i started to know what love means not too long ago.

*flasback, way way back when i was everyone's advisor*

i was merely just a kid.
soccer is the only thing in my head.
but when my friends came to me, crying, needing help
i make time for them.
even if i have to squeeze it into my tight² schedule.
the thing is, i cant bare to see them shedding tears.
seeing their tears are just killing me.
yes my advices are like stabbing nails into your head.
but why would i use that time for them?
its because i love all my friends.
every single one of them.
im missing them now actually. heh
ron, wan, bungkos, fee, huda, sher, mun, an.
haiya..
especially, the people in nyp!!!
aten, rya, naq, seniors of mcg, MF!!!
i miss u guys lah!!
when oh when can i meet you guys again. hee

ouh.
helping people was only part of it.
this is a 'tragedy' that happened way back.
a year plus ago.

there's this girl.
and im not mentioning her name.
those who know her.
please keep it low thank you.

shes a girl from my school
not te typical hot babe you think i'll go for.
seriously. haha.
we started goin out when she was in year one. heh.
i actually forgotten when. haha
i didnt know it will happen.
but it did. i fell for her.
then it went on and on.
but i was so stupid to dump her for my ex
big big mistake fiz.
then when i finally snapped out of it.
i broke up with my ex and went back to her.
im cutting this really2 short ok.
so we started a r/s again.
boy oh boy i had no regrets for that period of time.
we didnt get on cause she said she's not ready.
and so i waited.
if i could recall. i asked her three times.
then when i got busy,
i hardly had the time to even call or text her.
and it happened.
i went online for the first time.
sis told me she got a bf.
i didnt believe it at first.
so i hopped into her blog.
and there is where i saw everything.

my wasted energy. my wasted time. just for nothing.
i was hurt that damn bad,
i disappeared.
vanished away from my outside friends.
i cant hide from poly friends at that time duh.
i quit the soccer team.
i hardly had any energy or mood to do anything.

so i vanished for a year.
once in a blue moon i'll go online.

and i recall agn,
hari raya.
the unexpected happened.
returned home from dinner with friends.
my sister and friends were raya-ing at my house.
usually i wont bother about her friends so much.
i was talking² to her bf.
then skali i feel like somehow i had to turn my head and look around.
i turned.
and there she was.
sitting on my second bed. the sofa. heh.
very very quiet.
and i became more and more distracted till i didnt even talk.
hahaha. nonsense sey fiz. but really. i was distracted.
i was thinking. who is she? ive never seen her before.
she and her big camera. haha.

and when they got home,
ape lagi.
i asked sissy who is she.
haha. got teased lor. but who cares!!?? ahaha

found her in friendster. heh.
then started chatting.
and she turns out to be loud!
haha.
and when my feelings grew.
i became more and more afraid,
afraid history repeats.

but.
i decided not to back away.
i gave myself a chance.

and till now,
im loving more and more everyday.
she never fails to make me smile.
someone who finally brought me to life.
a lesson i learnt a year ago.
and boy,
2 months knowing and loving her,
i never regretted i made that move.
hee.
and her birhtday's on tuesday and i still havent thought of what to get her.

HELP!!!!

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